The Rumors of Marshawn Lynch's Retirement are Greatly Exaggerated

Jordy Lynch Answers Questions - Well Sort Of

I've been talking about the Bill Belichick infestation spreading through the league and the need of nipping this in the bud right now. It had already spread through 1265 Lombardi Ave front office and could be seen in any press conference General Manager Ted Thompson gives when he gives non-answers to serious questions on a daily basis.

 

It migrated down to Chicago a couple weeks again when Head Coach John Fox lied about the "sickness" of his No. 1 draft pick Leonard Floyd the day after he was carted off the practice field with a shoulder injury.

 

Well the winds have shifted and the virus has returned to Green Bay and its seems Jordy Nelson has caught a double dose of the Belichick/Lynch strain.

 

In case you forget Jordy Nelson turned out to be the MVP of the Packers offense instead of Aaaron Rodgers. With Nelson missing the entire 2015 season Rodgers turned in his worst statistical season of his career. So as it turns out Nelson was the indispensible man and his loss caused a cascade effect of incompetence and injuries that neither Rodgers or Coach Mike McCarthy could stem.

 

Monday night with two minutes left in the post practice press availability in the locker room Jordy was asked about the progress of his tweeked left knee and he answered the questions in perfect Marshawn Lynch style circa January 27, 2015 when Lynch answered 29 questions with "I'm just here so I won't get fined". That one was just the latest in a series of press conferences where he just answered "Thanks for asking", "Yeah", "Bout that action boss" and the best of all Lyncherisms "I'm Thankful" (I guess for not being fined for not answering the press' questions).

 

Jordy Before He Was Infected With the Thompson-Belichick-Lynch Virus

So back to Jordy Lynch Monday night when he was asked, "Are you starting to get antsy?" Jordy said, "I'm good". The next question was "How are you handling all this?" Jordy said, "I'm good". The next question was "BUT, how are you going about handling it?" Jordy said, "I'm working". The last question was "So how is the hiccup progressing?" Jordy said, "It's good".

 

Jordy, who I used to respect until last night, then smiled and exclaimed as he rode out of sight, "Do you want to waste another minute?". I would have spoke up immediately and said "you are better than this. You told us not to freak out and then give us bullshit answers when your knee is the most pressing issue in camp. What the hell is wrong with you?"

 

Instead the local bootlickers who haven't let their shriveled balls down in a very long time just laughed it off and moved on to what Jordy thought of the remainder of the receiving staff anxiously awaiting the return of the messiah.

 

This has never happened before until Thompson took over. Truth, justice and the Packer Way used to rule 1265 Lombardi Ave and now its just a part of a bygone era. Jordy has learned his lessons well from Belichick, Thompson and Lynch. I'm sad no one has the stones to push back except me I guess. I haven't seen a word of comment about last night's exchange being unacceptable.

 

OBTW: I'm still freaking out more than before because I wager if he was actually doing well then Jordy would have said so. I get the feeling the "hiccup" may be much more serious. I hope I'm wrong.